My life sucks. Not a day goes by where I can’t climb up on my pity-pot and feel sorry for myself. I mean, let’s examine the facts…
I don’t have any money and basically my retirement plan consists of purchasing a weekly lottery ticket. I’m in the worst shape I’ve been in, in several years, and I’m not getting any younger. And let’s not get started on my love life (or lack thereof). As an actor, it seems like I used to work a lot more. As a playwright, I’ve had a nice run lately, but only locally. So to sum it up: I’m broke, out of shape, old, lonely, and artistically unfulfilled. My life sucks.
Now, let’s look at it through a different perspective…
I’ve never truly been cold or hungry in my life. I’ve always had everything I’ve needed. If you stacked up all the people who live and have lived on this planet, I probably have it better than 95 percent of them. And yes, lottery tickets might not be the best retirement plan, but who knows? I do have an unchecked ticket in my wallet.
Sure, I’m not in the greatest shape right now, but I’m not in horrible shape either. I’m approaching my late forties, and I’ve never had a major health issue or spent a day of my life in the hospital. As far as getting back in shape, I know what needs to be done and I have a bunch of crazy running friends who will help me do it. Which brings me to my next point…
Friends. I’m blessed with an abundance of them. There are a lot of people in my life who I know will be there for me when I need them. People I care about and people who truly care about me. People who will pick up the phone when I call and talk to me (and not just text). If I’m lonely, it’s because I choose to be. And If I’m still single at my advanced age, it’s because someone spectacular is coming my way.
Now let’s look at my life artistically. This past weekend, I shot a TV commercial. I attended three of my own plays, I saw a scene cut of a play I’m assistant-directing, I had an audition, and I attended an Improv workout at Comedy Sportz. Am I rich from any of these endeavors? No. But could I have scripted a better Weekend? No. Granted, this is far from a typical weekend, but I get to see my plays performed, I get to work occasionally as an actor, and I get to do improv on a regular basis. For most of my life, none of these activities were even considered a distant possibilities.
So, next time I’m bummed because I don’t have to winning numbers, or I’m depressed because I didn’t get the part, or I’m feeling inadequate because I can’t get my work produced (or even read) at certain theatres, I just have to remember how much my life sucks.
PS. If you want to help me feel sorry for myself, come on down this weekend and see Magenta Giraffe’s production of Love Is Strange with me at The Abreact Performance Space.
http://www.magentagiraffe.org/
Sean Paraventi 